October 27, 2014

Philip Stanhope was The 4th Earl of Chesterfield and quite the orator.  Many of his sayings are spoken today without credit.  One such saying is, “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today!”  I have heard those words all of my life and actually thought I pretty-much adhered to them.  It turns out that I have not.
In 1991 my husband passed away, making me a young widow.  I had begun a new job 3 weeks prior to his death.  His death occurred the day after Labor Day.  If you have ever lost anyone, you may know that you are in shock or may describe it as I did – feeling numb.  I went into automatic pilot, doing all the things socially and politically correct for the funeral.  I scheduled the viewing for Wednesday night, had the Funeral on Thursday and then I went back to that new job of 3 weeks the following Monday.  I didn’t know that grief time was allowed; after all, work only allows 3 days bereavement time.
For nine months I poured my emotions in to my work,  going home each night and just being.  At the end of the nine months, I fell apart.  I didn’t know what was wrong with me – life just felt out-of-sorts.  In a moment of clarity, I realized that I had failed to grieve.  I checked myself into a 4 Day Grief Seminar and began the process I had postponed  – grieving.  Normalcy returned to my life!
One would think one would never want to repeat that lesson…and would adhere to the quote: “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.”
Important Bit of Wisdom:  Every loss in life must be grieved – every loss, no exception!
Fast forward to 2013:  I had worked for White Mountain Radio since 1999; I left that job, which I loved, to take the GM Job at KVSL on July 1, 2013, and actually worked both until the end of the year in order to fulfill my commitments – a double work load, especially since I was building something new.  On December 12, 2013, I was hit head on by a double-cab truck, my car totaled, my right knee broken,  contusions of the left knee and chest and actually got up and went to work the day after, never missing even a day due to that accident; I was afraid if I stopped I would not be able to start again; then, on March 1, 2014, my Mother passed away after an 8 year battle with cancer.  My Mother donated her body to science, which postponed a funeral/memorial; on June 15, 2014, my Sister Rebecca passed away after  long battle with cancer; then, at the end of September,  I resigned from KVSL.  A whole lot of loss – a whole lot of postponement of the grieving process – again.
October 2014 – History Repeats itself.  Time to Grieve.  I spent about a week and half unpacking all of the baggage I had managed to carry around with me from The Tobacco Program, The Chamber of Commerce, WMR and KVSL – going through all of that stuff actually helped me to  begin the grieving process – I threw a lot of stuff away and processed a lot of thoughts while doing it  It felt like a spiritual cleanse – the grieving process had officially begun.  I made a reservation to go to AL to Memorialize my Mother and Sister, see my Dad and have some much-needed R&R with my youngest sister.  We both knew that the ocean was where we needed to purge – to grieve – to rest and let go of those things we had postponed.
When I left for AL I knew I was getting sick; by the time my trip was almost at an end, I had full fl edge pneumonia.  I am getting better everyday.   My belief system is that whatever manifests physically in our lives has a mental equivalent to what is actually going on with you.  The lungs are about grief; if you take notice, you will see that many people suffer from respiratory issues at the end of each year, or the beginning of the New Year.  People grieve over things they have lost during the year – be it a dream, a job, a loved one, a move – whatever loss they have experienced.  If people have failed to process the grief, it generally shows up as a respiratory issue.
Moral of the Mini Blog:  Do it NOW; grieve now.  Ignoring grief will not make its stages go away.   Do not put off until tomorrow what you can do today.  Taking time NOW will allow you to get on with your life and avoid the physical manifestation of an illness.
Take the Test:    Who said, “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today?”  I bet when you use that quote now, not only will you remember who said it, but you will adhere to its message.

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